Pre-work

I'm sitting in the break room at work, waiting to clock in, and it's hitting me how much I don't want to be here. I'd rather be outside in my neighborhood enjoying the weather. Unfortunately, it will be nine days before I get to do such a thing. As excited as I am about my trip to San Antonio this weekend, I will have no daytime spare time until next Wednesday. It will be October by then. Whoa.

So much love

Key to happiness: surround yourself with people who make you happy.

Measurement of wealth and success: the ability to form and maintain happy relationships.

Lovebirds.

This man I developed a crush on four years ago and started dating shortly thereafter. We have ups and downs in our relationship as does any couple, but the happy times far outnumber the bad. He makes me feel beautiful and special and loved. I still get giddy about seeing him. Four years later and he still fascinates me and inspires me to be a better person. All I want is to make him happy and to make him feel as wonderful as he makes me feel.

This still happens every night.

He has been wishing me sweet dreams for almost four years. He tells me that he loves me multiple times each and every day. I do not take it for granted. I know just how lucky I am to have him.

Dustin and Smartie

He not only loves and cares about me, he also loves and cares about my babies. That alone is enough for me to love him to death.

Yes, I love my Dustin. He is my family now and he is my family's family now. Every time my Mom tells me that she loves both of us, my heart melts. She loves me and she loves him because he loves me. 

She had already told me that she loved me. Then she said "yall" to include Dustin.

I have the sweetest mom. She loves everyone and helps everyone. She helps me, my brother, my nephew, my cousins. She will help Dustin and she will help my friends. Her love and kindness know no limits.

I also have the greatest Dad on the planet.

Little Daisy and Dad

He spoiled me as much as he could. He actually still does. He always comes to my rescue when I need him. He built a cat tree for my cats. He drove miles and miles to College Station just to fix my bicycle for me. He cracks me up with his goofy jokes. He will drop whatever he is doing if I ask him to when I need him.

Birthday text from my Dad

People may say they have a great mother. Some may say they have a great father. Who can say that they have both? This girl can.

Of course, my family is so much more than just my parents. My goodness... my cousins!

So many cousins! Friends forever!

The young ones...

Me and Delilah

The ones closer to my age...

The Trio

The ones in between...

Me and Clarissa are such fly girls!

I love them all and will forever be bonded to them through blood and through a never-ending friendship!

Silly faces!

There are also the friends that we actually choose. Damn, I have done an awesome job choosing them!

We're the four best friends that anyone could ever have!

Best friends since middle school! The miles and the years will never ruin our friendship!

New friendships that make me think, "Why didn't we meet YEARS ago?!"

If there is one thing I am doing right it's choosing the players in my life well. They are all constant sources of smiles and laughter. Hugs and fun. Happiness surrounds me and I am absolutely floored by it.

I am such a happy and wealthy daisy.

Healing

Today, I got Cholula's ashes back. Her remains now rest on my shelf along with those of her brother Ferecito, whom she only met briefly back in 2008.

I wish the life span of ferrets was longer. Five to seven years is not enough time to spend with them! I say that, but then recall the massive amount of memories I made with my princess. Enough to fill my heart and keep it warm for a lifetime.

I am doing better. I still have not gone a day without crying, but that's okay. I cry because I love her. I cry because I miss her and when the thought of never seeing her again hits me, it hits me pretty damn hard. But then, I let all the memories-the happy happy memories-resurface. And I smile again.

Again, I am thankful that overall, I am a positive person. It helps me overcome the negative stages of the grieving process, so that I can still be a functional and happy person.

I am also thankful for everyone that surrounds me. My friends, my family, my coworkers, my surviving critters, and my boyfriend. My friends who have taken me out and kept me company. My family who has made life at home as comfortable as can be. My coworkers for their thoughtful words and their understanding. My critters for reminding me that I'm still a momma with plenty of loving and caring left to do. My amazing boyfriend for his sympathy and compassion and patience.

How lucky am I?

Cholula Belle, my sweet, adorable, lovable, wonderful, precious little princess. I miss you so much. I will never forget you, pretty girl, and will always be thankful for all the joy you brought into my life during your much too short life with me. I hope I can honor you well by continuing to help animals in need and by sharing stories about you as long as I live. I hope you know how much you meant to me and will continue to mean to me. I hope you know that you will forever be remembered and irreplaceable. Precious princess. Kisses, my baby!

Cholula

Warning: this is a very raw post, almost immediately following the death of one of my beloved babies, no time for me to process or make sense out of things.

I've been through it before. Losing a pet. It never gets easy, though. No matter how many times you've been through it. Each critter is so unique and special, that you grieve one just as immensely no matter how many times you have grieved before.

I deal with loss of pets on an almost daily basis at my work. There have been times when I am stressed to the max at work and then find myself passing a distraught pet owner. I almost always think, "My goodness, I need to suck it up. Things could be worse. I at least have healthy pets."

Now I'm the distraught owner. The heartbroken momma. It's me. It's my turn. And I am hurting. Bad.

When I got my first dog (Shiba) as a child, I remember rushing to the library to find a book about dogs. I wanted to know how long they lived. No internet in those days for a quick search. The answer back then (almost twenty years ago) was approximately ten years. When I read this, I thought, "Oh, okay. When the time comes, I'll be an adult and I will be able to handle death well and accept it."

Silly little Daisy. It was okay to be naive. You were only an eight-year-old.

When Shiba finally passed (she made it to thirteen, ya stupid book!), I was on the verge of turning 21. Of course, I cried for days. I was just as miserable as I would have been as an eight-year-old. I just turned 29 last week and once again, I will be bawling my eyes over next few days.

I will think about Cholula constantly. I will feel sorry for myself. I will feel an immense emptiness. I will voluntarily become a recluse. My eyes and my heart will be heavy. I will more than likely smile and laugh at things that make me do so, but deep down, I will be mourning.

I already miss her so much! Her kisses, her bouncy gait, the way she begged for treats at my leg, her fearlessness when climbing my bed and couch, her constant attempts to escape, the sound of her little feet running across my wood floor, her little round ears, her cute little paws.

Oh, tiny little furry princess. Cute, lovable little thing. Mommy loves you so much!

I can't.

Thoughts as the night winds down

There are a few things that I admire about myself. I do not mention them with a conceited, arrogant mentality. It's more about giving myself credit and acknowledging that I'm not a completely hopeless person.

I admire that I can always dig deep and be happy. I believe that at my core, I am a naturally happy person. Sometimes, it's just a matter of letting that person surface past whatever negatives things are surrounding my life. I also admire that I can make others smile or laugh. I have been told that I brighten days -- HUGE compliment. I admire that even though family and friends thought I was crazy for giving animals so much significance, I held on strongly to my feelings for them. Now I work in the veterinary field and have been a successful vegetarian for over five years.

Finally, I admire that I am able to forgive. For the most part. I could never forgive somebody hurting my critters, I don't think. Honestly, that is the only unforgivable offense that I can come up with without thinking too hard about it...

Is it possible that I am too forgiving, though? How many times do I have to accept apologies from one person? How many times do I have to make excuses for the same person? How many times do I have to remind myself that I love this person enough to forgive time and time again?

If I am, in fact, too forgiving towards this person, is that really something to admire about myself? Is that something to be proud of? Or should I be ashamed? Am I really just being a complete fool for practically shrugging my shoulders about things and moving on? Am I letting this person walk all over me?

These aren't fun questions to ponder.

Can I just go back to being a happy daisy?

That sounds like a plan...

Not just dogs

Today, we Aggies were given the unfortunate news the Reveille VII, Texas A&M's First Lady and mascot from 2001 to 2008, passed away.

Our Reveilles are no ordinary mascots...

Texas A&M was founded as a school that required all students to enroll in the Corps of Cadets and receive military training. While no longer a requirement (ahem... I would NOT have enrolled there if it was), the Corps is still huge at A&M. Do you know who the highest ranking member of the Corps is? It's Reveille. In fact, all other members of the Corps have to address her as "Miss Reveille, ma'am."

Reveille also attends class with her student handler. However, if she barks while a professor is teaching, the class must be immediately dismissed. It's tradition.

Like other Reveilles before her, Reveille will receive a formal military funeral and be buried at Kyle Field in front of a scoreboard so she can keep track of the football games. Thousands of people attended the funeral of Reveille VI... I am certain that thousands more will attend Reveille VII's funeral as well.

Reveille VII

She was a special dog indeed. She served as mascot all three years that I was at A&M... That's why she's even more special to me.

Reveille VII also would have had her thirteenth birthday in October. My own beloved boy, Canelo Dog, turns thirteen in October. Reveille VII was the same age as my boy... And now she has passed.

I can not put into words how anxious I am becoming about the fact that my boy is aging and that his last months, weeks, days are fast approaching. I am so incredibly grateful for the time that I have with him (whatever may be left) and try my absolute best to care for him diligently and make him as happy as possible.

Canelo Dog and mommy, April 2013

I'm so lucky to have such a wonderful boy. I bet he has no idea how happy he has made me these past 12.5 years and what an important role he has had in my life. I owe him so much.

Take care of yourself and your critters, y'all.

Daisy

I ran for my life.

I am now training for a half-marathon! I will be running The Hottest Half on August 25th. I may be crazy for running this in the middle of a Texas summer, but...

1. I will be training in the summer anyway
2. It'll be early in the morning before it gets too hot
3. The course is around White Rock Lake, which is where I am training

Once I accomplish this, I will gladly say to you: If I can do it, you can do it. 

You see, I was never an athlete. Not even as a child when the playing field was pretty even and except for a few stellar standouts, all kids pretty much sucked. I didn't do sports in high school because again, I didn't feel talented enough and felt that I would just let whatever team I joined down. In college, when we were required to take kinesiology/fitness classes, I chose Aerobic Walking because I figured it was the only thing I had any chance at passing. This when they offered classes such as skating, rock climbing, swimming, volleyball, skiing, etc. You name it, they offered it (Texas A&M is awesome like that). Nope, I stuck to walking.

So at almost-30, I'm ready to be an athlete. I have found a sport that I truly enjoy and that pushes me. It's also therapeutic. I may not be the fastest, but I'm building my endurance and giving my heart a workout as well. I feel so good about this decision, I wish I had started sooner.

There are plenty of apps on smart phones to help with the process. I also chose to purchase a guide/training plan from No Meat Athlete. Yes, I am doing this as a vegetarian, of course. That will only add to my sense of accomplishment.

I hope to update you on my progress and on other little facts of my life. I seriously suck at blogging now. Gone are the days when I had to resist posting more than twice a day. Overshare. 

Have an excellent week, y'all!

Hello, good friend

I'm not going to lie to you, dear blog. I did forget about you these past few weeks. So how about as lengthy an update as I can muster?

Spring is here, I suppose. Honestly, in North Texas, it arrives and disappears, and returns, and just when you've put all your winter clothes away into storage, a cold front comes through. I find it all too annoying, constantly checking my weather app to make sure no drastic changes are coming or if the forecast has been altered in any way since the last time I checked. I prefer constant days of 100 degrees, as torturous as they may become, over this bipolar weather. For serious.

So although spring isn't delivering the warm weather I had hoped for, it has delivered longer days. The sun rises earlier and sets later, giving me the sense that I have time to accomplish all that needs to be accomplished. I have added some things to my plate recently. I'll go into that now...

In the future, when I return to this blog to read old entries, this particular one will be the one closest to the date of those awful Boston bombings and the explosion in West. The older I get, the more I sometimes feel that I am becoming desensitized to all the madness that happens in the world. The stories themselves are sad, but I become even sadder to realize that they are a norm. My attention was captured regardless, though, because I am a runner and because I have been a frequent visitor of that small town. What a rough week.

What a cause for reflection. I want to continue to run. I want to run a half-marathon by the end of the year. Maybe one day, I can even travel to run marathons in the great cities of the world. I want to continue working with animals and being an advocate for them. I want to use the voice that social media gives me to help those displaced by accidents and natural disasters. I want to continue to pursue my post-graduate degree in health care to help people as well, when they need it the most.

My mind will run away if I don't stop this soon.

News from my tiny corner of the world: I am now the social media coordinator for my company and will be working closely with our CEO/Medical Director to better promote and market our practice. It's an exciting opportunity and I am extremely grateful for it.

More news from me: My relationship is going through a serious funk. It's not anything that either of us has done, I am not angry with him, I don't wish ill will upon him. Feelings simply change. I still care about him deeply, and I know he does the same for me, but that old vibe is now lacking and I am afraid that we are just too different from one another. At any rate, we've been together for over three years and I think that we do owe it to ourselves to try to make each other happy again. It's been a rough year-and-a-half for us... We just have to beat the cards that we were dealt.

I think that's plenty for now, dear friend. I hope I don't forget about you for too long again.

Parenting and such

As is customary on Sundays, my Dad is grilling in his backyard. What lovely people, he and my Mom. He's grilling burgers and hot dogs for everyone, but my Mom gave him a veggie patty and he grilled it to perfection just for me.

At age twenty-eight, I find myself with a lot of friends and acquaintances who are parents now or about to become parents for the first time. Five years ago, this was not the case. As I observe the parenting skills of those friends, I sometimes compliment them for doing well. I don't compliment just anybody for just anything... Not when I have the parents that I have. So if ever I tell you that you are a good mother or father, know that I am holding you to very high standards and that such accolades from me are very rare.

You might think that I would be a good parent myself, having had the examples that I did. My parents and I are different people, though. Different mentalities, different goals, different lifestyles. While I like to think that I would be a good mother, I know I wouldn't be. It's not something that I could devote myself almost entirely to, which is what my own Mom did. It's not something that I need to do to be happy or fulfilled. It's not something that I can easily picture myself doing. It's as simple as that.

When people initially find out that I don't what children, I get the following reactions:

• I don't either! You'd have to be crazy to want kids! - This usually comes from people who also work in the veterinary/animal field. Our critters are the only children we need.
• Oh, I didn't either, but I changed my mind. You will too. - I tend to get this people who actually don't know me very well. Where do they get off making this assessment when they hardly know anything about me? They remind me of the people who also told me that I wouldn't last more than a few months as a vegetarian... I'm at five years and counting now, bitches!
• You're crazy. It's natural for women to be mothers... that's why we're here. - I am not an oven. I am not some kind of factory. I make my choices and I decide why I'm here.

Honestly, I'm used to it now. I just smile and remember that I will enjoy my life as I see fit and others can enjoy theirs as they wish to. I am happy being the awesome aunt and cousin that I am to all the little farts in my family. Those human children will do.

And my furry children are all I need to be the happiest "mommy" on the planet. Love love love!

Get sprung!

Do you remember the following:

1. How much I looked forward to everything there was to do during the fall?
2. How much I complained about winter?

Well, things are looking up now. At last! We are now less than three weeks away from Daylight Savings Time, which means the sun will now set an hour later (hooray). We are also only a month away from the first day of spring! Oh, this daisy is ready to bloom away. I have so much lined up for this spring, it reminds me of  how busy the fall season was. Read along and (if you can) join me on any of these adventures.

1. The North Texas Irish Festival on March 2nd - Dustin and I spend all day at this thing. I look forward to it every year... It has become my annual reminder that spring is on its way and I just love the people   there and how genuinely happy they are to celebrate the Irish culture.
2. Tap 'n' Run on March 9th - Because beers and running go hand and hand, right?
3. St Paddy's Day Dash Down Greenville on March 17th - Again: drinking and running. This one is even followed by a parade. Can't beat that.
4. The Big Texas Beer Fest on April 6th - Why do so many of these events involve drinking? Haha
5. The Deep Ellum Arts Festival on April 7th - I love supporting local artists and I am curious to see what other local vintage sellers have to offer.
6. The Texas Scottish Festival on May 4th - Never been to this one. As much as I love the Irish Festival, though, I am sure I will thoroughly enjoy it.
   

That's all I have for now. Festivals, 5Ks, and drinking. What more could a daisy gal ask for?