At age twenty-eight, I find myself with a lot of friends and acquaintances who are parents now or about to become parents for the first time. Five years ago, this was not the case. As I observe the parenting skills of those friends, I sometimes compliment them for doing well. I don't compliment just anybody for just anything... Not when I have the parents that I have. So if ever I tell you that you are a good mother or father, know that I am holding you to very high standards and that such accolades from me are very rare.
You might think that I would be a good parent myself, having had the examples that I did. My parents and I are different people, though. Different mentalities, different goals, different lifestyles. While I like to think that I would be a good mother, I know I wouldn't be. It's not something that I could devote myself almost entirely to, which is what my own Mom did. It's not something that I need to do to be happy or fulfilled. It's not something that I can easily picture myself doing. It's as simple as that.
When people initially find out that I don't what children, I get the following reactions:
- I don't either! You'd have to be crazy to want kids! - This usually comes from people who also work in the veterinary/animal field. Our critters are the only children we need.
- Oh, I didn't either, but I changed my mind. You will too. - I tend to get this people who actually don't know me very well. Where do they get off making this assessment when they hardly know anything about me? They remind me of the people who also told me that I wouldn't last more than a few months as a vegetarian... I'm at five years and counting now, bitches!
- You're crazy. It's natural for women to be mothers... that's why we're here. - I am not an oven. I am not some kind of factory. I make my choices and I decide why I'm here.
Honestly, I'm used to it now. I just smile and remember that I will enjoy my life as I see fit and others can enjoy theirs as they wish to. I am happy being the awesome aunt and cousin that I am to all the little farts in my family. Those human children will do.
And my furry children are all I need to be the happiest "mommy" on the planet. Love love love!
