While we're drowning in rivers from our faces

Not going to get into details, but Dustin and I had a huge HUGE fight this past weekend. Over the phone (the worst!). As with most difficult situations in life, I turned to music for comfort. This is "Goodbye Waves and Driveways" by The Rocket Summer. I've highlighted the lyrics that simply resonate with me, the parts that remind me that even when times are tough, love remains. If you care to listen, I've included the song at the end (it's not an actual video, it's just audio).


Just walk away...

Gather your thoughts for the second wave
Of this argument on this epic changing day
It's crazy to think that an hour ago all things were great

But we stand here both proud, both wrong and right
Throwing cheap shots in this stubborn fight
And our lives are so intertwined in one
But we're just so stuck in this moment
It's clear that we're coming undone

And you see, it's hard for me to breathe
When I get all worked up with these feelings
And I don't know exactly how it is
That we can be so mad we consider to not exist

When we both know there's so much love clenched within our fists

The goodbye waves in the driveway, they just resonate
And yes, I'm throwing it right back at her
While we're drowning in rivers from our faces
We just wanna know if this, is this over?
A trembling silence fills the air
As we stand here so impaired, so aware

I sit in this house alone with fresh photographs
And I just can't relax
Like cigarette smoke, I'm starting to choke on this
That half of my soul's on the road in a car with a girl in a dress

And see, it's making it hard for me to breathe
When I get all worked up with these feelings
And I don't know exactly how it is
That just to say, I'm right, you're wrong

We both lose to win...

The goodbye waves in the driveway, they just resonate
And yes, I'm throwing it right back at her
While we're drowning in rivers from our faces
We just wanna know if this, is this over?
A trembling silence fills the air
As we stand here...

So, hey now, maybe it's being stupid
Hey, maybe we're just being dumb
Hey, maybe it's time that we stopped and we realized
Like a flag in the wind, we are one
And how at first, it's made so pure and lovely
But in battle can be torn to shreds
But with time and with patience and love and affection
Can be fixed with needle and thread

Because I love you and you love me
And nothing will make this leave
I said, I love you and you love me
And nothing will make make make make this leave

So remember me, yeah.
Remember me, yeah.
Remember me...

Don't walk away.

One of the things I love so much about the song is how it comes full circle. From asking her to walk away from the fight--because fights are so unpleasant. Who would want to deal with one? Why make matters worse?--to asking her not to walk away. To stay. To work it out. [sigh] I love it.

And yes, Dustin and I are fine. We are so in love.

Football, Immunology, Clothes. Quite a triumvirate.

Last night I went to the A&M football game against the Longhorns. I scored a free ticket, but had to sit (er, stand) with a group of complete strangers. Is there such a thing, though? Strangers? At an A&M football game? We're all Aggies, we're all the 12th Man. I was high-fived and hugged multiple times by people that I had never met before. Ah, it's that Spirit of Aggieland. It's Kyle Field. How I love it!

By the fourth quarter, I was freezing my ass off. Then I had to walk all alone in the cold from the stadium to my apartment. To make matters worse, since it was past eleven by the time I was able to get out of the stadium, it was obviously dark outside and at some points during my walk, I could not see where I was stepping. I was less than halfway home when I ended up stepping in some sort of puddle. Since I was wearing  a pair of Vans sneakers, my feet were soaked. Wonderful. Have I mentioned that it was effin' cold last night?

Since last Friday morning, I have been fighting some sort of bug. It started with a scratchy throat, some coughing, and then culminated with a horribly runny nose and incessant sneezing on Tuesday night. My body is young and able. I am also currently enrolled in an (veterinary) immunology course, which has taught me that unless one's body is absolute shit, it can take care of pretty much any bug that manages to shake things up. It is such an intricate process, one involving multiple body systems and a vast array of body cells, all very well coordinated and working together to make things normal again. Throwing drugs into the mix is just a way of telling your body that it sucks and you don't have faith in it. It only confuses its amazing lymphatic/immune system, so I refused to take anything. After my incident last night, though, I was almost certain that just as I was beating this "illness" (I can't really call it an illness when I never lost my appetite nor my ability to work out) I was going to jack things up again. Nope. I'm good. Way to go, T-cells, B-cells, antibodies, macrophages, mast cells, neutrophils, and dendritic cells. Y'all rock my world.

Changing the subject, I am obsessed with clothes. Remember my recent post about how I re-organized my closet? Well, I did so out of my obsession with clothes. I do not spend a ridiculous amount of money on them, mind you. I am a very thrifty shopper and RARELY spend more than fifteen dollars on one item of clothing (not even jeans!). In fact, I have added five additional pieces to my closet in the last week and spent less than thirty dollars on them all together. They are quite cute too!

Dustin (you know, that wonderful boyfriend of mine) introduced me to a show called House Hunters a while back. Has anyone ever watched it? It involves people "shopping" around for houses/homes. They get to pick out of three choices and you follow them along as they go from place to place and comment on what they like and dislike about each house they are shown. Often, they list what is on their "wish list" for their new home. I constantly tell Dustin that number one on my wish list is HUGE walk-in closets. Not even joking. Besides the fact that they allow pets, it's probably one of the main reasons I chose the apartment I live in now. Dustin always tells me that I have too much clothes and that it's ridiculous. He's right, but we all have our vices, don't we?

With that, I tell you this: I wish I was a paper doll! To be able to change from one outfit to the next in just a wink. Fabulous!

So many choices, oh la la.

I bet y'all know what I am going to say next... Back to studying! Weeeeeee!

Back, but moving forward.

How about a post from the good ol' SCC (Student Computing Center)? For those of you unfamiliar with Texas A&M (ahem, most of you), the SCC is a two-story building full of computers. That's it. Just a nice, big computer lab conveniently located on main campus. A few years ago, when I was an undergraduate, I would come here in between classes (how nice it was to actually have breaks between classes!) and literally waste time. I would not study, nor read, nor do anything productive whatsoever. I would log onto myspace, which was all the rage back in 2004-2006, I would get on AIM, I would type up emails to good friends, I would blog, and I would surf the interwebz. Those fifty minutes between classes would fly by, believe me. In fact, sometimes I would be so into whatever it was that I was doing in here, that I would be late to class. Oh, what a silly young daisy.

Being in here, I can't help but remember those days. I wanted so desperately to graduate, get the hell out of College Station, and move back to Dallas. I wanted to have adventures in the city that I left almost as soon as I became an "adult." I was so excited to start looking for a job in Dallas and brag about my degree. Vet school was on my mind, of course, but I had some living to do before getting there, as well as some experience and confidence to gain. I was so excited about the future, even though I had no idea what it would involve.

It involved landing a job at The SPCA of Texas, gaining a lot of experience, helping thousands of animals, and making wonderful friends. It involved becoming frustrated about not being able to land a job at a vet clinic to work with a veterinarian, which I needed in order to apply to vet school (vet school truly never left my mind). It involved enrolling in veterinary technology courses and becoming a registered vet tech in hopes that it would help me be hired by a vet clinic. It involved being forced to grow up thanks to not having days off because I worked from Friday through Sunday and then went to school from Monday through Thursday. It involved finally getting that previously elusive vet clinic job where I learned so much more than I could have ever learned in a classroom and made even more awesome friends. It involved my little family of creatures growing to include more than my beloved old Canelo Dog. It involved becoming a vegetarian, which is one of the best decisions I have ever made in my lifetime. It involved being treated like crap by people I worked with and learning how to deal with people not liking me. It involved finally meeting the love of my life and falling deeply in love with him almost immediately. Of course, it involved eventually applying to vet school and being admitted.

So here I am. Back in College Station, back at A&M, back at the SCC, but an entirely different person than I was all those years ago...

Little Daisy. Little hopeful twenty year-old Daisy, you've done well. Back then, you didn't doubt that the future would be bright and exciting for you. Don't you start doing so now. You've grown up and added some years to your age now. You aren't so naive anymore, but you must keep believing in yourself. Just look how far you've come and everything you have already accomplished! You are well on your way, girl. Be proud, be confident, stay focused, and don't you ever lose that love. Love for others, love for what you do, and love for life. An even brighter future lies ahead for you, princess, and you deserve it.

Once again, a happy daisy

I can't even tell how happy I am after having my family and Dustin visit me this weekend. They are all on their way home now, but my family will be back in just a few days for Thanksgiving. I decided to stay in town to get some studying done during the break, so they're coming here instead. Actually, my Dad and brother would've made the trip anyway because they're going to the football game against the Longhorns, but Mom decided to join them so that I can have myself a (vegetarian) Thanksgiving meal even though I will not be going home.

I feel so ready to take on these last few weeks of school, to start preparing to kick these final exams in the ass. I hope the weather stays pleasant, that my spirits remain high, that if I get sick it's not severe, and that my brain keeps chuggin' along.

Less than three weeks to go...

Countdown!

I forgot to post about it...

22 days til freedom!

I will be 1/8th of the way towards becoming a veterinarian. I feel a happy dance coming on...

Study break post.

I am listening to Dr. Dog right now and it has me in the greatest of moods!

Earlier this afternoon, I called that crazy (awesome) woman who just so happens to be my mother to say hello. Talking to her helped my mood as well.

Also, Erica, who I met years ago when we were both undergrads at A&M texted me tonight and invited me to do some Zumba with her. Sounds like so much fun, I have been wanting to try it for quite a while. Unfortunately, with finals just around the corner and two exams on Friday, I had to decline. Next semester, though! She said the invitation will remain open. :)

I received an email from my apartment complex today regarding a clothing drive that the office is holding. I love clothing drives! I used to donate my clothes to a thrift store in Dallas whose proceeds went to an animal rescue group. I'm not entirely sure where the complex is sending the clothes off to, but I am participating nonetheless. There is something cathartic about cleaning out my closet and getting rid of things I no longer wear, especially when I'm not just throwing them out. I actually rearranged my closet over the weekend and spotted several items that I could do without. I was so happy with how nicely organized my closet looked that I took pictures! Am I a goof or what?

Arranged by color! So many pretty colors!

Beads! Makes me think of Gus Gus from Cinderella!

Favorite part of my closet? Canelo Dog's perfectly pressed bandanas.

 

I'll have to tackle this area some other time. Eeek!

In completely unrelated news: I can't remember the last time I sat down to watch a movie. An entire movie, not just bits and pieces of it and not one playing in the background as I study. So, at some point (more than likely next week) I am going to treat myself to a movie (possibly two since I'll be on Thanksgiving Break) and thoroughly enjoy it. I'm excited and being the girl that I am, I am choosing a chick-flick!

My upcoming reward. Yippeeee!

One final note, I was on facebook earlier and read that it is quite chilly in Dallas today. Several friends posted about it so I decided to check my weather app: it is 16 degrees colder in North Texas than it is in College Station. I can therefore actually say that I am glad I'm here and not in Dallas. Sorta. :P

I'm so in love.

I'm so very much in love. It's worth re-emphasizing. That's all I want to write right now. It's such an overwhelming feeling, in a good way. I had stressed so much over school last month, that I almost led myself to believe that I was unhappy. How can I be unhappy when I am in love, though? It makes no sense.

Life is good. Allow me to get tomorrow's exam out of the way, then my countdown to winter break can begin. Happy happy me.

Update on the kitty!

The kitty did NOT like my kitties. She disliked my dog and ferret as well. As a result, I had to keep her away from them in the spare bedroom. This meant having to take one litter box out of the spare bedroom's bathroom, moving it into my bathroom, and forcing my two cats to share just the one box (not cool!). This also meant depriving my animals of one entire room that they were so used to having access to. Canelo and the cats love sleeping on the bed in there and Cholula likes to cozy up in one of the bathroom cabinets. I'm sure they were not thrilled all last night and today.

More about the kitty, though: she is so darn sweet! She loves to make herself comfortable on laps and proceeds to purring as loud as she can. It's so adorable. She has the softest meow to match her soft fur, which was also surprisingly clean and free of fleas. I honestly think that she may belong to someone just because of how friendly she is and how at ease she was being indoors. It was like she knew that that was where she belonged. I posted FOUND ads on Craigslist and in the local paper. We'll see if anyone replies.

I also made a post on my class's facebook page asking for a temporary home for her. I really just wanted someone to keep her until next weekend. My family should be visiting me then, so I can send the kitty home to Dallas with them if I am not able to find her (possibly non-existent) owners. Once she is in Dallas, she can hopefully go to my best friend Cent's animal shelter and get everything she needs (vaccines, etc). Thankfully, one of my awesome classmates responded to my plea and agreed to take care of her until next Friday! It all worked out well because she doesn't have any pets so I know the kitty will be comfortable there, plus, she's a fellow vet student (i.e. the kitty will be well taken care of)! I provided food, bowls, litter, a litter box, Frontline, and toys. Emily is providing the awesomely comfy home with comfy couches and no other critters to scare the kitty. My animals also get their room back. Huzzah!

That's my update on her and here is a picture:

Picked up by vet students... Winning!

On with my evening now. Feeling good about life, about animals, and about people who love animals. :)

They find me.

Dogs, I can understand. Dogs following me home or approaching me is normal. They're dogs, they like people! A cat, however? A random stray cat in the middle of a restaurant parking lot? For it to actually meow at me to get my attention before I got into the car? For it to make its way over to me as soon as it noticed that I had heard it and was stopping to pay attention to it? For it to allow me to pick it up and set it on my lap?

I just had to bring it home. It's a she. I had to bring her home.

Yet another rescue. I will update about her more tomorrow, I hope. Right now, I need to get ready for bed and for my tomorrow.

Oh, world. You made an animal lover out of me. Please help me help this animal. I am already asking what I have gotten myself into. Please remind me that animals and animal rescue are the reason I live and enjoy life. Please remind me that a rescue is not a burden, it is something to be proud of and to be fulfilled by. Please let me find a suitable home for her soon. Please let this all work out.

Random news.

I so badly want to turn this apartment of mine more into a home, more into a space that is actually mine, not just a place I stay at while I am in vet school. This afternoon I went to the bookstore to buy a notebook and some paper for one of my classes. I saw a random basket hidden towards the corner of the store just as I was making my way to the checkout counter. Above it, in large red letters, was the irresistible word SALE and off I was to investigate what goodies could be coming home with me without damaging my limited budget. The basket was full of Wall Pops, which are wall stickers that you stick and appear like paint. They are so damn neat! And they peel right off without damaging the wall and can be used again! The ones I found were pretty basic (no fancy designs), but who cares?! They were freaking cheap! What a steal, my wall and apartment look better already. Hooray!

In other news, I haven't mentioned that over the weekend my parents adopted their first kitten! She is absolutely adorable and is already so loved. I am pleased with my parents for becoming so loving towards animals in recent years. This is a pair who did not allow animals inside the house when I was growing up. They did not like cats at all, either. Dogs you could a least run around with, kick a ball with, play fetch with, teach tricks to, but a cat? Pointless to have, in their (old) opinion. Now, they have adopted their own. Not a pet they are getting because one of their kids wants it, one that took major convincing to be welcomed into the family. Nope. This was their choice. They wanted her. I am so damn proud of them, and of myself for helping them see the beauty of animals. I knew it was only a matter of time. Their daughter is going to be a veterinarian, after all. Her livelihood will be coming from animals and the people who love them. It was only a matter of time.

So I am happy right now. Even with the time change, I am happy. I think a goal I will set for myself is to spend as much time outdoors and in the sun while I can. Something as simple as eating my lunch outside will help and taking Canelo to the park as soon as I get home (if the sun is still out).

Off to finish one last homework assignment before it is time for sleep once more. :)

La Blee Da

I sleep so much better when I'm not alone and when I'm not stressing. I can't say that I wasted hour upon hour on sleeping this weekend because sleep is such a luxury to me, that I could never call it waste. I slept on the car ride to Dallas Friday night, I slept in yesterday morning, I took multiple naps throughout the day yesterday, I slept in this morning, we all got an extra hour of sleep last night because of the time change, I took a nap this afternoon (during the second half of the Cowboys game... ha!), and I slept on the way back here to College Station. After the pitiful amount of time spent sleeping last week, I deserved every second of it this weekend. No shame.

I am definitely not liking the time change. I actually bitch about it each and every year. Here it is for this year: it is a fact that spending time in the sun leads to happier moods. How the hell am I supposed to be happy when I don't get any sunlight? Darkness by six? I barely make it home at that time. And I spend the ENTIRE day indoors. Not only that, but the lecture halls and laboratories where I spend my days all lack windows. Depressing. Also, another ingredient for happiness is working out, not just for me, but for everybody. Endorphins. I do NOT have time to work out (as mentioned, I hardly have time to sleep!). The only workout I get is when I ride my bicycle to and from school, something that I hesitate to do when it is dark outside. Something that I will not be doing much of anymore. Damn you, winter! You suck!

I need chocolate. And sugar cookies.

Oh, November

This is how I feel about cold weather.

I should clean my mirror. Geeze!