Winding down

How did I let myself get so down last week? Where did it all come from? Where was my hope and my pride? I tried my best to dig for it, but I just couldn't find it. Or maybe I just wasn't letting it flourish. I let so much time go to waste... Such a damn shame.

No matter now because I am better. Less than five weeks until the semester ends and although there is so much to learn and do in those five weeks, optimism is finding its way back to me.

I only have one more torturous anatomy exam left to take. I have three demonstrations to make: how to palpate a horse, how to do a physical exam on a dog with the client present, and how to perform a neurological exam on a dog. I can do it... I am so much better at the hands-on things than I am at the boring study-retain-and-spit-out-information-for-a-grade stuff.

Of course, that is not all that is left to do. I still have to learn the anatomy of ruminants (animals with four stomachs such as cows, goats, and sheep). I have numerous lecture exams and finals to take, several lab exams, several quizzes, assignments, blah blah blah. Life of a student.

Five weeks...

Today

Everything has its price. You love and love, but then you miss and miss. The best feeling in the world transformed into a very low feeling.

It really pisses me off. It didn't at first, but now it does.

FUCK. Just fuck.

The Hunger Games

I read the first book over Winter Break and was hooked. I immediately searched for the trailer online, found it, and started counting down the days until March 23rd. Suzanne Collins was so descriptive when writing about her post-apocalyptic world and its inhabitants... When I watched the trailer, I realized that Panem was being depicted just as my imaginative little mind pictured it to be. I was beyond excited.

Thankfully, like the book and like the trailer, the movie did not disappoint. As always, the book is better, but that can be said about all films adapted from books. As I was watching it, I felt that it was much more moving because I read the book. I already knew the characters and empathized with them. I not only knew what they were thinking and feeling, but also knew why they were thinking and feeling those things, something that can't be translated to film.

Changes and things I noticed:

• The mockingjay pin was given to Katniss by a woman at The Hob. Therefore, Madge was cut from the film. I don't know how this will carry over to the next film, since Madge becomes one of Katniss's only friends and because of the jealousy Katniss feels when she thinks Madge and Gale are becoming close.
• The avox girl was cut out. A source of guilt and agony for Katniss, but also a source of forgiveness. 
• I felt that Cinna's role was cut short. Cinna became one of the only people Katniss felt she could trust, but that wasn't established well in the film.
• The history of the mockingjay was never explained. What the hell is a mockingjay if you haven't read the book? Also, the fate of District 13 was never brought up either.
• She found water way too quickly in the movie. Dehydration was a huge issue in the book.
• The muttations. The one thing I was actually disappointed about. When I read the book, I was so shocked about their likeness to fallen tributes. I couldn't wait to actually see them! Booooooo!
• Cato didn't suffer long in the movie. It was such a gut-wrenching thing to read, but not as bad to watch in the film.
• You don't get a sense of what Katniss feels while kissing Peeta. How she thinks about Gale. Or how Rue reminds her of Prim.
• Gale's background wasn't explained either. There is no mention about his father being killed in the same mine explosion that killed Katniss's father.
• Katniss's relationships with her father and with Gale were brushed off in the movie.
• Katniss felt she owed Peeta something because of the bread. That was never touched on.
• There was no mention about how squeamish Katniss was about injuries and sick people.
• The time in the training center was hurried. You don't get a good sense of all the stations that were available to the tributes. Nor do you realize how long Katniss and Peeta had to wait before showing off their skills to the gamemakers.

I am just way too observant. :)

I did love it, though! I can't wait to watch it again, I can't wait to finish reading Mockingjay, and I certainly can't wait to watch Catching Fire!

How it is

The problem with breaks from school is that I go to Dallas and have incredible times. Life is grand and worry-free. I come back here and miss it all so much. It's almost unbearable. What's sad is that I don't think about it at all while I'm at school. I leave home at around seven in the morning and don't return until close to six. The entire time that I'm away, all I can think is about how badly I want the day to end so that I can go home.

Then I come home. And my loneliness consumes me.

My best friends aren't just a few miles away. My cousins aren't down or across the street. My mom isn't here to hug me and ask me if I'm hungry. I don't get to kiss Dustin hello after a long, tiring day.

I know, I know. It will all be worth it when I'm a doctor, and believe me, this is where I want to be. I just wish all the ones I love were here with me.

To end on a positive note... One more thing I'm thankful for: coming home to Canelo, Cholula, Miguel, and Smartie. I'd be a complete mess without my beloved babies, that's for sure.

La la la

Today, I am happy because:

1. I didn't have to stay at school as late as I thought I was going to.
2. The thunderstorms only lasted until noon and not all day so hopefully, Canelo's day wasn't too rough.
3. I saw a cute little calf scratch her ear with her hind leg today. I had never seen one do that before... It was adorable!
4. I get to eat some of my Mom's home cooking for dinner tonight. I brought it back with me from Dallas!
5. No large animal anatomy lab tomorrow.

Thank you, life!

Things I am thankful for this morning

1. It's not cold.
2. I have a great learning opportunity lined up for me this summer.
3. I get to go home during my lunch break today.
4. I only have three quizzes and one assignment due this week.
5. My hair and make-up look good.

All alone on a Sunday night

Sometimes, I feel that it isn't fair. Other girls, my classmates, the ones in long-term relationships. The ones in serious relationships. Their boyfriends, fiancees, and husbands moved to the area with them when they started vet school. Others were already here. Others are no more than an hour away. They get to see them everyday. If not, at least every weekend.

I go weeks without seeing Dustin and it makes me sad. I want him here with me, making me happy like he did all throughout my Spring Break.

I know better than to feel sorry for myself, though.

I just felt like writing.

Spring Break to-do list

In no particular order:

1. Go on a picnic.
2. Fly a kite.
3. Visit cousin's new store, Downtown Pawz
4. Go thrifting
5. Have a drink at Billiard Bar, 1st & 10, or Cock & Bull
6. Hang out with as many cousins as possible
7. Finish reading the Hunger Games trilogy
8. Run on the Santa Fe Trail
9. Have a meal at Grandma's
10. Figure certain things out
11. Celebrate best friend's birthday
12. Cook with the boyfriend
13. If there is sun, soak it in!

Happy, happy, happy

A quick trip to Dallas has put me in the a wonderfully happy mood. I am in love with life right now and with all the special people who play a role in mine.

My Mom greeted me so warmly as soon as she stepped through the door of her house (she wasn't home when I arrived) and immediately asked if there was anything that I needed or wanted. My grandparents were thrilled to see me when I walked over to their house and very enthusiastically started telling me about all the little quirks they have noticed in their newly adopted dog. My little cousins asked me about school, about where I live, and how my critters are doing. Dustin was as sweet and accommodating as ever. He never fails to show me just how much he loves me.

Now, I'm back in College Station, waiting to fall asleep so that I can begin what is sure to be another hectic week of school. With this great attitude and sense of joy, though, I'm sure I'll make my way through it just fine.

I should add that there are several people that I love and miss, but was not able to see during my expedited trip. Not to worry, brave little heart of mine. Next week brings you Spring Break and plenty of time to show your love and gratitude to the people who keep you happy and full.

Life is grand.

Marching into March

I have obviously given up on the 365 Project. The purpose of it was for me to have a creative outlet and to pay better attention to my surroundings. My life is so monotonous, though, and I am always in such a hurry, that I didn't feel there was enough for me to photograph. Actually, there isn't enough time for me to explore and find things to photograph. Oh well. I'll keep trying, though. Whenever I do capture something good, I'll share it.

I want to write so much right now, but as always, I have too much to do and too little time to do it in. I need to finish my laundry, clean a little, pack some things up, and head to Dallas. I haven't been home since January. I haven't been out of flippin' College Station since January! Believe me when I say that I need out!

So out I go!

And yes, I am ridiculously happy that March is here and that spring and summer are finally returned to me. I am aware that the winter was mild and that there wasn't much for me to complain about, but regardless, the days were still short and cloudy. I need my sunshine! And the mornings were still too cold and not as pleasant as I like them. Oh... Welcome, spring! This little daisy is thrilled that you are back!