Healing

Today, I got Cholula's ashes back. Her remains now rest on my shelf along with those of her brother Ferecito, whom she only met briefly back in 2008.

I wish the life span of ferrets was longer. Five to seven years is not enough time to spend with them! I say that, but then recall the massive amount of memories I made with my princess. Enough to fill my heart and keep it warm for a lifetime.

I am doing better. I still have not gone a day without crying, but that's okay. I cry because I love her. I cry because I miss her and when the thought of never seeing her again hits me, it hits me pretty damn hard. But then, I let all the memories-the happy happy memories-resurface. And I smile again.

Again, I am thankful that overall, I am a positive person. It helps me overcome the negative stages of the grieving process, so that I can still be a functional and happy person.

I am also thankful for everyone that surrounds me. My friends, my family, my coworkers, my surviving critters, and my boyfriend. My friends who have taken me out and kept me company. My family who has made life at home as comfortable as can be. My coworkers for their thoughtful words and their understanding. My critters for reminding me that I'm still a momma with plenty of loving and caring left to do. My amazing boyfriend for his sympathy and compassion and patience.

How lucky am I?

Cholula Belle, my sweet, adorable, lovable, wonderful, precious little princess. I miss you so much. I will never forget you, pretty girl, and will always be thankful for all the joy you brought into my life during your much too short life with me. I hope I can honor you well by continuing to help animals in need and by sharing stories about you as long as I live. I hope you know how much you meant to me and will continue to mean to me. I hope you know that you will forever be remembered and irreplaceable. Precious princess. Kisses, my baby!