Monday, September 12, 2011

Another day in which to excel.

One of the deans at school always says that. Everyday is another day in which to excel. Sometimes, I just don't feel like excelling. All I want to do is sleep. Today is such a day, but alas, I have a full day of school ahead of me complete with a physiology exam at ten this morning.

I'm sitting in bed still, I've been awake for about an hour. I'm trying to review my notes here on my laptop, but I'm at the point where I decide that I either know it or I don't. I feel that I know it, the exam material that is, and that I know it pretty damn well. Hopefully, I can master this exam. I need to. My confidence needs me to as well.

Canelo is by my bed whining. He wants to go outside. Off we go.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Ten years ago.

I was only a few weeks into my senior year of high school. I had a bit of anxiety that day because I was supposed to take my senior picture and I just did not want to. School pictures and I never got along, I was not very good at doing my make up, and I hated the black tops they made us wear. The night before I told my mom that I wasn't going to take the picture. She, of course, told me that I better. Ugh.

The morning of September 11th, however, I was scheduled to go on a field trip with my fourth year French class. We were going to go to The Federal Reserve Bank in downtown Dallas and have some very important people with very lucrative jobs tell us how beneficial it was to learn a foreign language. Our group would divide in the afternoon to explore job opportunities in different fields and again, somehow relate knowing a foreign language to being successful in each field. I was not excited about the afternoon agenda. I would be separated from my friends, while they all divided up into groups together.

As was common with me, I woke up that morning with barely enough time to make it to school. Unlike some of my classmates, I didn't have time to turn on a television in the morning. School was only two blocks from home, so I didn't listen to the radio on the way to school either. I just walked. When I arrived, I put my things in my locker and then went back outside to the front of the building where the bus was waiting for us. My friends were all talking about things like Homecoming and those blasted senior pictures. Only one of them mentioned New York and then others mentioned that they saw or heard something about it as well . A plane crashed into a building. That was that.

We eventually loaded up on the buses and made it to downtown. It was only a few minutes from school. When we got in the building, we were taken up some elevators and into a dining area where we were served an amazing breakfast. Perfect because, as I mentioned, I was always on the run in the mornings. No time to eat. Someone spoke to us while we ate, I don't remember what about. I didn't really care. I knew then that I wanted to work with animals. Whatever this man in his fancy suit had to say did not interest me. My thoughts were instead on my damn senior picture. If this field trip took long enough, maybe I wouldn't make it back to school in time to take my picture. I knew that I would, of course, but it was the perfect lie to tell my mother. Yes, I would have lied to her, I was a teenager then.

I can't remember all the details. A group of adults (my friends, classmates, and I weren't adults quite yet) gathered away from us by the entrance of the dining room. Eventually, one of them went up to the podium and told us that they were all sorry, but that our trip could not continue. We had to go back to our school because downtown was being evacuated. The country was under attack.

The severity of the situation had not hit me. On the bus ride home, I pulled my cell phone out and realized that I had a voice message from my mom. She was wondering where I was. She knew my field trip involved going to some building in downtown and had become aware that all of downtown was being evacuated. Other students also had missed calls and voicemails from their parents. When they returned the calls, a lot of them were told that their parents were already waiting for them at school. What was the big deal?

The bus started making loud, rattling noises as we neared school. We all joked, "Oh no, this bus is under attack!" How foolish of us, but really, we just had no idea. Maybe everyone had been misinformed. Maybe all the adults were overreacting. Maybe it was just some freak accident. What did anything happening in New York have to do with us in Dallas? We did not know. We had not seen images of a second plane hitting. We did not know that the Pentagon was attacked as well. We didn't know how bad it all was.

Then we got to school.

Some of the students did, in fact, have parents waiting for them at school and so they went home. As for the rest of us... Did we have to go to our classes? Technically, we were excused for most of the day. Some kids decided to just skip their classes and hang out in the journalism room all day. Some of my friends went to the bathroom to get all dolled up for their senior pictures and subsequently take those pictures in the auditorium. That was the last thing my best friend Cynthia and I wanted to do. We went to the French class. The television was on.

Finally, it hit us.

I don't remember if I cried then and there. I may have. My eyes must have at least watered up. The rest of the day? Oh, you know... It was high school. The class clowns were cracking jokes, the "freaks" were talking about how the U.S. had it coming, some people still did not care. When the bell rang, Cynthia and I left the French room and I went to our third period class. Our teacher had the radio on and was so serious, his face in his hands almost the entire time. When it wasn't, he just sat back in his chair with his arms crossed and his head shaking. He was in such disbelief. It was weird to see him that way, he was such an easy-going guy.

For my fourth period class (we only had four classes a day), I was finally separated from Cynthia. No one went to that last class. The few of us who did just sat there and watched TV again. At some point, I don't remember when, I did go downstairs to the auditorium to take my picture. I wanted to make my mom happy. How insignificant did it all seem now. How anxious I was about having to take it. I was upset about not being in the same afternoon field trip group as all my friends. Such trivial things! So damn silly of me.

I went home after school and just stayed with my family. That was my day. That's how I remember it. It didn't start carefree because I was a total nut who worried about the stupidest of things (in my defense, I was seventeen at the time). In a way, I almost became more carefree in the days that followed. The dumb little things that I gave priority to before did not matter as much. To be honest, neither did the not-so-dumb little things. Who could focus on school with the news that was being thrown at us day in and day out? Even then, I was socially aware and liked to stay up to date on current events. School kinda suffered and so did college applications. Ah, well. I am lucky in that the impact that day had on my life wasn't very intense. No one I knew passed away and nobody joined the military. Peace.

Monday, September 5, 2011

I'm a sad/lonely daisy.

I really wish he could stay. I wish I could have him here with me all the time, not just every other weekend. I am such a disaster when he leaves, and probably will be all week since I don't have this weekend to look forward to because I won't be seeing him. Last week led up to me seeing him, and it was great! I was so excited and so happy! Weeks leading up to lonely weekends? Not so much. All I do is miss him. It's rough. It's just as hard, if not harder, as I expected it to be.

I know I have to get myself together. Especially given that I have an exam in less than three hours and another on Friday. Life, help me.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Week two begins.

Short post, just some minor things on my mind.

I have added several of my (awesome) classmates on facebook and often realize, via their status updates or check-ins, that they are constantly studying. What great motivation! I'm not the only person spending hour after hour studying my poor little brain off. I gotta keep up!

I am not too happy about the regular school year beginning. Undergrads are everywhere! They crowd up the buses, they get in your way, they drive up and down the street that you are trying to cross with your dog, they make too much noise in the hallways... I will eventually add to this list.

Actually, that's all that's on my mind right now. Back to studying!

Friday, August 26, 2011

One week down, many more to go.

It has been such an overwhelming week, but I have to remind myself that I asked for this. I want to be a doctor, I want to help animals, I want to dedicate my life to them. I just have to remember each and every amazing, adorable creature I have ever met in my life, and tell myself that they are worth all my time and stress and all the studying and the exhaustion and all the dang money that I am spending. This is where I belong and this is what I am meant to be doing.

Part of the reason I am so exhausted is the fact that I have to haul so much stuff around. My backpack is stuffed with notes, books, school supplies, and veterinary equipment. Since I have an anatomy lab, one that involves the stinky act of dissection, I also have to carry extra clothes and shoes around. I always pack a lunch and on certain days, I haul a box of bones as well. It's tiring and awkward, but it must be done. I do have a locker on campus, but I still have to carry everything around when going to and from bus stops and onto and off the buses. So not fun.

Another reason I am tired? My schedule. Classes from nine to five on Mondays, eight to five on Tuesdays and Thursdays, eight to three on Wednesdays, and ten to noon on Fridays (although on certain weeks, there are extra class meetings or exams scheduled for Friday afternoons). To make it to class by eight, I have to wake up at six, get ready, walk Canelo, eat breakfast, pack a lunch, and catch the first bus at seven, which takes me to main campus. From there, I grab a second bus to the vet school. I usually arrive by 7:35, which gives me time to take all my junk to my locker and drop my lunch off in the lounge. In the afternoons, when I am done with classes, I usually have to wait a while for both buses since they aren't as well coordinated as they are in the mornings. This means waiting around in 100 degree weather... draining! By the time I get home, I just wanna zonk out, but I can't because, believe me, there is plenty of studying to be done. Oy!

I am still excited, though! I am going to learn so much and the people I have met are all so nice and incredibly smart and talented. Oh! I am just thrilled about my anatomy lab partners! They are both cool as can be, we communicate well and work very well together. You can meet the nicest people in the world, but that does not guarantee that you will be able to work well with them. We lucked out and I could not be happier.

In other happy news, I will be making my first, albeit short, trip back to Dallas in one week! Leaving with Abner on Friday afternoon, spending Saturday there, then coming back with my brother and Dustin on Sunday so that we can all go to the football game that night! I can not wait! Thinking positively and looking forward to the littlest of things. That's how I am going to make it through vet school.

***Thanks, Cristina, for encouraging me to write this!***

Sunday, August 21, 2011

LDR

Am I really going to be this upset every time Dustin leaves College Station after spending the weekend here with me? I just want to cry, I am so sad. For the first five minutes after he had left, I laid in my bed, right next to the window, waiting to see if maybe he had forgotten something and was making his way up the stairs back to me. He never did. He is well on his way home to Dallas now while I am still here feeling all sorts of down.

It wouldn't be so bad except I know that I won't be seeing him next weekend and will instead have to go nearly two weeks without seeing him... Sad daisy. Yes, there are couples who go longer, much longer, without seeing each other, but this is all new to me so being this upset is completely reasonable, right?

I better get busy. First day of classes tomorrow. The beginning of my ridiculously busy schedule. I need to make sure I am as close to one-hundred percent ready as I can be.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

howdy hey

It must be required for a person to be friendly in order to be accepted into vet school. Everyone has been so kind and chatty these past couple days. I am trying my best to learn names and not have to rely on the name tags that we are expected to wear (always!), but there are just so many students, so many faces. I look forward to really start to get to know my classmates and to start sharing this crazy experience with them. It's gonna be a good one.

Throughout orientation, different organizations and companies have been providing our breakfasts and lunches. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to enjoy them much. Yesterday's breakfast consisted of chicken sandwiches from Chick-Fil-A and today's consisted of breakfast tacos from Taco Cabana. I'm a vegetarian who doesn't eat eggs. Dang.

Lunch today was from Pei-Wei so I chowed down on some noodles and veggies. Although I don't believe in fortunes or horoscopes or such things, I thought it was funny that my fortune said that now is a good time for me to make new friends. I already knew that, though! Duh.

On with the remainder of my afternoon! Last day of orientation tomorrow, finally. :)

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Trouble already.

Today was going well. I woke up early to catch the seven o'clock bus, which took me to campus. From there, I grabbed another bus at 7:25 to take me to the vet school. I was at the vet school by 7:35. Very good. So regardless of traffic, regardless of weather, and regardless of that blasted train that passes right through the middle of College Station, I should have little to no problem making it to my eight o'clock class Tuesday through Thursday. Riding my bicycle would be twenty minutes faster, but with this heat, the ride is not very pleasant and I will arrive at school drenched in sweat. I don't mind getting sweaty, mind you, but when our appearance is expected to be professional... Well, I just can't have it. Once the weather cools down, I'll definitely be biking.

Anyhow, yes, today started off well. I was pleased with the buses and later on, I took another trip on them to have my picture taken for school. After I got home from that, I decided to relax a little and made myself a nice, big avocado sandwich with lettuce and mustard. Unfortunately, it was too big. When I opened my mouth to take my first bite, I opened too wide and my jaw popped. I tried to pop it back into place, but couldn't. It hurt, like a headache on the side of my face. I was still unbelievably hungry, though, and my beautiful sandwich was still sitting on the counter. I took a couple of bites, chewed, and started crying. The pain was absolutely excruciating.The only time I have felt pain worse than that was when I had two of my molars crushed and pulled out.

 After discussions about my unfortunate accident with my parents and my Dustin, I decided to ride my bike down the street to HEB for ibuprofen and soft foods. Thank goodness they actually had vegan yogurt! For dinner I had mashed potatoes and wheat bread. The only way I was able to eat the bread was by tearing off pieces of it, putting them in my mouth, letting them soak down, and then "chewing" them with my tongue. Not fun, but at least I ate. The pain isn't as bad now, and hopefully will be even less noticeable tomorrow. Depending on how it feels, I just might have to go to the campus health center. Fun fun.

All this the day before Orientation. [sigh] I must stay positive and hope that tomorrow, my jaw won't hurt too much for me to smile. Fingers are crossed, hopes are high. Good night.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Back in Aggieland

The weeks leading to my move were too hectic for me to find the time or the right state of mind to blog. My birthday passed, my going-away party was thrown, I had good times with my Dallas friends and buddies,  and I spent quality time with my family and Dustin. The days since my last post flew, just as I had expected them to.

In all the madness, my beloved boy, Canelo Dog, got a urinary tract infection. It started off with him vomiting his dinner on Wednesday night, which I initially blew off (he usually does that when he eats too fast). Then I realized that he would not stop heaving. Sure enough, two hours later, more vomiting and a lot of restlessness. At three in the morning, he threw up for the third time, yellow bile so I knew his stomach was empty. The following day, he was fasted, I syringe-fed him Pedialyte, and injected him with subcutaneous fluids. No more vomiting. At that point, I thought maybe the issue was anxiety. Our room at the time was an utter mess, with boxes covering the floor, stacked on each other, crowding us into discomfort. By Friday, however, I had noticed blood in his urine, and ruled out mere anxiety as the cause for his sickness. He had an infection and needed antibiotics. Thankfully, my best friend Cent works for the Humane Society and GAVE us the meds needed. Awesome awesome awesome.

The trip here wasn't easy for my babies, all five of us crowded into the back seat of my Dad's pickup, while Dad and Dustin rode up front. Smartie pooped in her kennel and got carsick. Miguel couldn't get comfortable and missed his nap. Cholula hated riding in the kennel, and Canelo just did not have enough space. Oh, but we made it! They're settling into our new place, Cholula being the most thrilled of them all. She is happy running from room to room to explore. My sweet princess.

[sigh] Mom had a rough time saying goodbye to me. I had a rough time saying goodbye to Dustin. Thank goodness for cell phones, eh? So the next four years of my life begin. On to FINALLY become a doctor, a doctor to the cutest patients on the planet. I'm ready! :)

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

I didn't know this photo existed.

Three things I love: laughing, dancing, Dustin. This picture involves them all. Greatness!