I do love summer.

One night of inexpensive summer fun and I feel like deleting my previous post. Thank you, life. It was just what I needed.

Bunk summer?

As much as I love summer, I do not think that I will be able to enjoy it much this year. It's disheartening to see photos of friends floating the Guadalupe River, making trips to Vegas and Cali, visiting Port Aransas, taking boats out on the area lakes, flying to the beaches of my beautiful Mexico, and realizing that I can't do any of those things, no matter how badly I want to. I don't even know if I can go to freakin' Six Flags or Hurricane Harbor. I just can not afford it. I have only two months until my last day at work, which translates to only four paychecks until I am an unemployed, full-time student again. Most of my money has to go to vet school necessities, vaccines and books being the most expensive of those necessities. I guess making my dreams come true requires sacrifice. That's okay. It will all be very worth it and I will live it up one day. <3

Weekend o' fun.

Happy to say that I, for once, had an amazing holiday weekend. Working in the field that I do, holidays and weekends are almost nonexistent, so I rarely am able to enjoy extended weekends like most people do. Thanks to a co-worker who needed me to switch days with her, though, I got yesterday off and today, the hospital was closed. Oh, it was nice!

I spent the weekend with my Dustin, relaxing at/in the pool, hanging with his friends, watching Sopranos, winning trivia at the bar, pigging out on pizza, grilling by the pool. It was so perfect. I couldn't have asked for a better weekend. I'm so happy.

To make things better, I'm not quite back to reality yet. Since I work on weekends, I'm off during the week. No work tomorrow or the day after... Life is great!

Another Daisy Day.

I'm writing this as I watch the Mavs. Western Conference Finals, baby!

Work today was weird. It started with a grown-ass man bawling his eyes out over his very ill dog. There is something incredibly heartbreaking about seeing a man cry inconsolably over his pet. I knew how he felt, I wanted to hug him, I wanted to thank him for loving his dog so much, and I wish there were people like him in this world. Tillie, your dad loves you, sweet girl.

The rest of the day was uneventful, and its banality soon made me forget the emotional start. Fortunately, I got off at a good time, though, and was able to run on the trail this evening. The best part about going out for a run, besides the health benefits, is definitely the cooling down (the walking). I do a lot of thinking when I walk alone, no phone nor Canelo Dog to distract me. It does me so much good. There is no better way for me to relax... Well, besides chilling in a pool!

Gah, I wanna go to the pool!

All I write about is vet school.

Good news! I finally received my packet from vet school earlier this week. It's the packet with my new email accounts, instructions on how to sign in to the vet school web portal, how to sign up to have a mentor, information about orientation, a list of the student organizations on campus, and that dreaded supply list. There will be plenty of shopping for me to do this summer. Lab coats, coveralls, stethoscope, dissection kit, and books books books! Thank goodness they sent the supply list so early. It gives me time to get everything I need.

Today was hectic, because of vet school preparations. I was all over town getting documents together so that I can apply for a very, very important scholarship, one that I am almost guaranteed to get simply because I have two foreign-born parents. Today involved going to Eastfield for a financial aid transcript, then going to Kinkos to 1) print a pdf copy of my tax return from my travel drive, 2) make copies of my parents' tax return and W2s along with my own W2, and 3) fax financial aid transcript requests to TCU and A&M. After that, I came home to update my FAFSA application. As a professional student in the health field, I need to include my parents' information on my application in order to get even more federal help. Gotta get that money! Gotta pay for my place, my food, my babies' food, and freakin' health insurance!

One thing that I was completely excited about when I got my packet: by joining the Student Chapter of the American Veterinary Medical Association at A&M, I will be able to purchase Science Diet pet food for 80% off! Awesome, since that's what Canelo, Miguel, and Smartie already eat. I currently get it through work for a reasonable discount, but 80% off?! Wowzers. They'll be better fed than I am!

The countdown continues: 95 days until my first day of school.

One more thing...

GO MAVS!!!

Shining.

You can’t let others’ negativity get you down. You can’t let their crappy attitude or their jealousy or their unkindness affect you. Fuck them. Let it roll right off your shoulders. Flip it away with your gorgeous hair. Be better than them, be more fabulous than they are, enjoy life more than they do. Smile, laugh, and love always, regardless of people’s shitty manners.

I personally can not stand ugly people. As much as I want to slap the repulsive out of them, I find it better to simply shine in their faces. Shine, shine away.

Life has given me a great reason to shine and glow and flow, but being accepted into vet school also gives me reason to stress. I really need to start saving money, but I also need to spend money. I need a bike to get around town on. I need to spend hundreds on getting vaccinated before the semester begins. I’m going to have to buy a water filter because tap water in College Station, TX is damn near disgusting. I need school supplies. I need to buy textbooks. I need to pay off my balance at work. I need to stock up on pet supplies for my beloved babies. I need to pay a pet deposit so that my beloved babies can go with me. I need to find a place to pay a pet deposit to! Where am I going to live? I need a place close to campus so that I can check on my beloved babies during my lunch breaks. I need a place close to a decent grocery store so that I can ride to it on my bicycle, the one that I have yet to purchase. How am I going to pay for groceries? I’m going to be so broke! How am I going to be able to hold a job while taking eighteen credit hours a semester?! When will I have time to study? When will I have time to relax?

And how am I supposed to live away from my Dustin and be okay? L

Still, I remind myself of the fact that this is my dream coming true. I’ve wanted to be a veterinarian since I was seven years old… That’s almost twenty years. I have worked my ass off since high school, making the grades, getting the experience, earning the respect, never losing sight of how badly I’ve wanted this. This is it for me. This is me reaching my ultimate goal, finally! How can I not be happy?

Charlie Sheen may be winning, but Daisy Martinez is shining. Duh.

Dang.

I wish I could write that I haven't cried since the last time I wrote, and had I posted this just an hour ago, I would have actually been able to, but now? I am, once again, bawling my eyes out.

No matter how good life is to me -and it has been good, what with my vacation from work this week and the news that I've been accepted into vet school- I always manage to fuck things up somehow. I always end up in tears and down, way down, from my high. I always end up questioning why I can't simply enjoy life.

Then I feel much too dramatic and stupid. Life isn't perfect. At twenty-six, I should know that by now.

Daisy Downer

I have cried way too much this year already. Talk about feeling drained. Still, people see me as a happy person, and generally I am. I just can't count the number of times I've wished I could take my animals and go far, far away.

Oh well.

Overcome with gratitude.

"This is probably why many young children have such a natural attachment to animals, seeing things fresh without the years to retract all the miraculous new images coming at them, all these remarkable animate beings racing and barking and panting and chirping in their midst." -Matthew Scully

I still marvel. I could spend my days off locked up at home, watching my four critters of three different species interact with one another for hours. My patience at red lights is not tested if there is a squirrel hurrying along off the street or birds flying into open spots on power lines overhead. Bad days at work become better if I stop to look out the window and watch the dogs jump in and out of the pool or stretch out on the grass to soak up the sun.

Thank goodness I still marvel. Thank goodness I never grew out of that. Thank goodness my life now revolves and will continue to revolve around these miraculous beings. Thank you, thank you, thank you.