Originally posted Monday, September 26, 2011
I don’t mind the studying. I don’t mind the lack of free time. I don’t mind that I can’t watch an entire football game or baseball game or movie. I don’t mind that I spend way more time at school than I do at home. Really, I pay rent for this place because it’s more of a home to my animals than it is to me. I don’t mind any of that. It was expected. I am, after all, trying to become a doctor.
What I do mind is being so alone. I mind being away from my Dustin. I mind having to go nearly three weeks without a comforting hug from him or a loving kiss or an encouraging smile. I miss him so much, I really do. I want him here with me. I want him to take me to and from school. I want him to bring me food. I want him to walk my dog when I’m studying. I want him to hug me hello and goodbye at the beginning and end of each day. I want him to hold me late at night. I want him here making me laugh. I want to ride around town in his car with the music on and listen to him sing along. I want him to tell me he loves me. I want him to make a mess in this apartment. I want the shower to smell like him. I want a collection of his cigarette butts to start forming on the balcony. I want to see his beard trimmings all over the bathroom sink. I want to hear him talk in his sleep at night. I want to attempt to tickle him. I want to hear him complain about how gross his hair is if has been sweating. I want to watch him snuggle with my dog. I want to take a nap on the couch with him. I want to hold his hand. I want to run my fingers through his hair even when he claims it is gross. I want to hear him complain about how hot it is. I just want to be with him. I don’t want to be so far away from him. I don’t want to go so long without seeing him.I’m like this every time he leaves. I get so sad.
I cried all while typing this. There is no denying that I am absolutely in love with the man. We’ll be together again soon and eventually, we’ll be together forever. I have so much to look forward to in life. I am so, so lucky.
What I do mind is being so alone. I mind being away from my Dustin. I mind having to go nearly three weeks without a comforting hug from him or a loving kiss or an encouraging smile. I miss him so much, I really do. I want him here with me. I want him to take me to and from school. I want him to bring me food. I want him to walk my dog when I’m studying. I want him to hug me hello and goodbye at the beginning and end of each day. I want him to hold me late at night. I want him here making me laugh. I want to ride around town in his car with the music on and listen to him sing along. I want him to tell me he loves me. I want him to make a mess in this apartment. I want the shower to smell like him. I want a collection of his cigarette butts to start forming on the balcony. I want to see his beard trimmings all over the bathroom sink. I want to hear him talk in his sleep at night. I want to attempt to tickle him. I want to hear him complain about how gross his hair is if has been sweating. I want to watch him snuggle with my dog. I want to take a nap on the couch with him. I want to hold his hand. I want to run my fingers through his hair even when he claims it is gross. I want to hear him complain about how hot it is. I just want to be with him. I don’t want to be so far away from him. I don’t want to go so long without seeing him.I’m like this every time he leaves. I get so sad.
I cried all while typing this. There is no denying that I am absolutely in love with the man. We’ll be together again soon and eventually, we’ll be together forever. I have so much to look forward to in life. I am so, so lucky.
No comments:
Post a Comment