Sunday, October 16, 2011

This is me.

During our nice, lengthy phone conversation on Friday night, Dustin suggested that we both refrain from listening to sad music and instead listen to music that makes us happy or lifts our spirits. The Rocket Summer's music is so stupid-happy that it was immediately what I thought of.

I first listened to this song in 2003 when I became a fan of The Rocket Summer and downloaded his first full-length album, Calendar Days. I was a grand-whopping eighteen years-old. An adult, by legal standards, but still mostly a child in every way imaginable. I was a freshman at TCU and thinking about transferring to Texas A&M because I wanted to go to vet school someday (here I am, eighteen year-old Daisy). I wasn't entirely sure of how to do it, how to plan for it, or even if it was the best move, and listening to this song over and over again somehow reminded me that it was normal to be unsure.

I don't know what I am doing now and I won't try to act like it cos I sure don't know how. And I'll admit that I don't know just where I'm going on this long and winded road that's taking me to what will be my home.

Something is what I'm gonna be. And what you is what you do. And what I do needs to be true. The things I do maybe need to be thought through.

But I know what I want to do and I want it to be true. And yeah, I'll be the first to say that of course, I'll listen to you, but just remember what's right for me might be not right for you.

Nearly ten years later, at twenty-seven, of course I know where I am going and what I'm doing. I am in school to finally become a veterinarian. I will graduate and join my Dustin and spend the rest of my life with him. These last couple weeks, however, have at times made me wonder if I belong here (I know I do) and if I can do this (of course I can). It's those little uncertainties and doubts from years ago creeping back up on me. I'll make it, though. One The Rocket Summer song at a time, I will make it.


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